This is my Male Counsel, one of my favourite humans in the entire world. We dated very briefly in Uni, and quickly discovered we were better friends than more. We valued one another enough to step away from the romantic and to instead focus on our friendship.

Not a birthday went by when I didn’t receive a call from any number of long distance numbers from remote locations in the world. Until one day the call came from inside of our work building.

We have carried one another through the most distressing times, never pulling punches and never pretending that bad behaviour was acceptable behaviour. With great love and respect, we have always shared a space within which we’ve been able to say the most difficult things to one another about each other’s bad behaviour. Intention has always been to make sure that we help each other do better because we believe that we can and we deserve it.

I remember one seminal moment when he said to me: “I have watched you slowly erode your standards with regards to men and I need you to stop.”

This was nearly 12 years ago, and it was a crossroads for me. I was blind and lost at sea, and so he became my compass.

There is absolutely not one lie between us. I am overwhelmed with gratitude for this friendship, always.

Though he recently went through some very difficult times, he is now on the other side of things and both healing and thriving. I am grateful to the Universe for both allowing this man to remain in my life, and to see him so at peace. Shukran wil hamduliLaah.

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