“Sometimes you don’t survive whole, you just survive in part.

But the grandeur of life is about that attempt. It’s not about the solution. It is about being as fearless as one can, and behaving as beautifully as one can under completely impossible circumstances. It’s that that makes it elegant.

Good is just more interesting; it’s more complex, more demanding.

Evil is silly, it may be horrible but at the same time it’s not a compelling idea. It’s predictable, it needs a tuxedo, it needs a headline, it needs blood, it needs fingernails. It needs all that costume.

But the opposite, which is survival, blossoming, endurance – those things are just more compelling intellectually, if not spiritually. It’s more fascinating. We are already born, we are going to die, so you have to do something interesting that you respect in between.” –Toni Morrison–

It’s no surprise that she’s my favourite author, the author who speaks most quietly to this small heart of mine. I watched an interview with her and kept going over this part before transcribing it.

I think I survive in different parts, at different times. So, I remain whole, but different scenarios quiet or render dormant different parts of me until they’re once again brought to life.

I don’t believe anything of us is ever truly lost. When nothing in this world ever dissolves, but rather becomes (a part of something) else, then I think what might be said about our bodies can also be said of our experiences.

But evil. Yes, there is evil. As a Muslimah, I have no doubt. We believe that there are truly and unchanging unyielding individuals evil to their core – those who spread corruption. Like Conrad Black. Like Pinochet. Like Hugh Hefner and Jack The Ripper.

But most people are nothing close to evil. They simply make the wrong decisions, the wrong choices.

Good, however. This is real, and it’s where my interest increasingly lies, where I find my biggest lessons. I think most of us default to good. No matter the harm someone else has caused (to me or otherwise), this is the opinion and landing where I eventually find myself. Eventually. And I’m trying to get there faster, but it’s a struggle. Because there is so much harm.

It’s one of my du3as to Allah; an ask for softness which I have made to Him. My order is still pending.

Many consider me naive for this. Sometimes I consider me too naive. My cousin keeps telling me I am too kind, too good. I have to expect less, and harden up.

I don’t know if I can or if I will.

Like I said, my order with Allah, among so many other orders, it remains pending.

I’ll let you know what the verdict was once He lifts the veil.

Until then, default to goodness. Default to kindness. Even when you have been harmed. Maybe especially then. Your core should remain unchanged by the actions of others. And let your core always exercise and lean toward goodness towards others. If we all did this, what a different world we’d have at our fingertips.

If you cannot do this out of a love for yourself and for the benefits of a softer heart, then do it because one day you will be hoping that others will treat you with the goodness and softness you maybe refused to extend. And then where will you be?

May your weekend be full of soft landings, and may you extend them in equal measure. ❤️

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