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Category Archives: Mindful Relationships

The Home

I’ve never wanted an actual physical house, but I’ve always known that if I were to live in anything, I’d want a small little cottage like the one above. (1)…

The Tenderness

Isn’t this absolutely it? Made better still by the promise of what’s to come for them. This is by artist Nana Bruce, whose work I return to regularly. After the…

The Grief Exhaustion

Update: After publishing this, two Uni people on their first date came and sat next to me. Their hope in one another restored my faith in everything. Keeping this published…

The Heart-Full

I usually do this on my birthday, but missed that this year for an intersection of good reasons. This is my 49 year old face plus four months. This morning,…

The Lover’s Fetish

“Let the lover be disgraceful, crazy, absentminded. Someone sober will worry about things going badly. Let the lover be.” -Rumi Editorial Note: Originally published in 2012, I revisit this every…

The Vivid Dreamer Oracle

(Reposted from 2012.) “Oracle” is what another calls me, while Blue calls me “Vivid Dreamer.” Let me start with the women in my mum’s family; we dream. I learnt very…

The Love of An Open Hand

I promised to write this piece last time, and it’s been coming to me in waves – what it means to love with an open hand. It means to love…

The Love Revolutionary

Solidarity work is directly linked and reflected in our most intimate relationships. This world can be a devastatingly awful place, even though it is a privilege to live in it…

The 2023 Evolution

I’ve always been the black sheep – in my community, and certainly my family. I was the first to move out of the family home not so that I might…

The Middle of the Night Wake-up Call

There is an entire world of metaphysical magic within the realm of Islam, and it is where the hearts of Sufiis rest. We believe that energy between people links and…

The Lion or The Lamb?

Speaking with R (permission granted to publish this) the other day, we were discussing her presently extremely unbalanced relationship with her man. She, like me, since two months now, has…

The Witchy Senses

It’s Puma! Peter, to some. He was my male counsel in University, and we had some wild and hilarious times. Saturday was his 50th, and his wife (on the right)…

The Big Dick Energy

“Are you high maintenance?,” she asked over lunch through a relatively rowdy group. It’s a question that’s sat with me for the last three weeks. I answered as honestly as…

The Baby Cousin

Reemo Bobeemo. Nineteen years between us. On my way home from Uni, I’d go to my uncle’s to see her, walk in and singsong Hiii-iiii. It became her first word….

The Love Language

I’m on holidays as of Monday COB so hopeful I have more time to write over the coming two weeks, inshAllah. We went for a hike and a picnic, then…

The Deserving

He had a natural green thumb, and then worked hard to enrich his knowledge. He’s the one who was the first to learn that I thought Mr. Peanut made peanuts…

The Male Energy

She asked me if I’d ignored it. I responded honestly that that wasn’t it. But because I hadn’t considered the question before she posed it, I couldn’t quite put my…

The Leadership

The primary difference is that we respond to managers, but we follow leaders. A leader is someone we like, and trust, because whose following someone they’re not down with, or…

The Friendship Season

The past year has been full of beginnings for me, after a decade of challenge; this photo was taken on my birthday when I was surrounded by my family, and…

The Turn On

“& they lived happily ever after” is where most love stories end, but I will always hold true to my belief that this is precisely where meaningful love stories begin….

The Relationship Theater

Editorial caveat: What follows about me comes with zero judgement regarding the choices of others. I am for everyone’s love affair, no matter the flavour they need to remain in…

The Late 30s

This is a thing which I’ve discussed with my girlfriends, but hadn’t thought to put into writing until now. For the last few years of my 30s and first couple…

The Sandpaper Dunya

If she had missed the bus, she’d have been forced to wait a minimum of 30 more minutes. The sun had set, taking her warmth, making way for the cooler…

The Rebound

We may have had this conversation in the past – do you believe that there is such a thing as a rebound relationship? And do you avoid those just out…

Maha Monday: My new piece’s past

Dear Maha, (Name withheld) I have been dating for a few months now. I thought he was perfect until last week when he told me a few things about his…

The Playing In Traffic

When I was 13, I broke my femur running into traffic while a boy led. He was the son of our neighbors at the time, only a year older to…

The Decision Fatigue**

Choosing to wear Malcolm is the only choice I am left able to make, it seems. Let me caveat this post by (re)articulating how being single is a choice which…

The Deliberate Choices

The Fragility piece generated a lot of very shy DMs from women regarding the following – “The alternative is to engage men about whom I could not give a shit;…

The Fragility

“You need to date someone who already loves you,” was what she said. I had him once. He was my best friend, but I was not ready, and ultimately –…

The Hard Monogamist

The following short reflection came up because recently, someone (I absolutely adore) asked if they had a right to articulate a need to their lover of early days. I realized…

Traditional roads to dating (aka How to confuse the shit out of your friends for $500)

I just told you about my summer, and the man a part of it, over this way. What I hadn’t mentioned was that we met in a more formal and…

Heart-swells

Over the course of 3.5 months, I was involved with someone; near two months ago, we became uninvolved. Though short-lived, it was an important situation which taught me much about…

Imagine if we were swans?

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/04/06. ——————– Imagine if we were swans? We’d croak when our partner died. No fun. Two days ago, I was discussing soul mates with my…

On Trust

“Fare Thee with Patience And Grace because relationships are a cuntpunt.” (Bobby 3:16, 44) Aside from explosive physical chemistry, intellectual compatibility, and sharing laughter, there is one key element to…

From terrible, to v good poetry

It has been a minute since I wrote you, and for this I am sorry. I have read every single message you sent, and I thank you for your overwhelming…

Let them eat cake

He and I met for coffee at Elgin Street’s Bridgehead. It was a really lovely afternoon of caffeine and conversation, and I had been over the moon to see him….

On Healthy Silence

Two things: (1) I am a Super Communicator and Clarifier. I go above and beyond the call of normal communication to make certain that the person before me is always…

A Near Perfect Time (would you?)

Rumi wrote: There’s joy in my heart: I have joined my lover tonight; Finally free from the pain of our parting tonight. As I dance with my lover I pray, oh…

When exes message

I recently woke up to an email which read, in part: I fell in love with you the night H introduced us at Oliver’s and you argued with me about…