The Journal of A Scorpio Moon

Over the course of 48 hours, I’ve had three people think I’m a Scorpio. In the past year, two others guessed the same; one of whom has become very important in my world. As astrology grows and evolves, the present suggestion is that our Moon (also known as our Rising) sign should be more important than our Sun. Chani Nicholas** agrees, and always tells us to read both our Sun and Moon and lean towards that which resonates. Always, it’s Scorpio which resonates for me, but I’ve never read beyond her daily horoscopes.

Until these three new individuals, plus the original two. It’s happened my entire life, but it’s only just these past 48 hours that it’s dawned on me to read up on the Scorpio Moon, the moment one of them asked Doesn’t Islam run on a Lunar Calendar? That’s your sign that you’re more your Moon, no?

Sun is identity and where you shine (Libra), while moon is your driver (Scorpio). The Moon is what motivates you, defines your intuition; it’s what’s bubbling beneath our surface, the subconscious at work. My birth chart is heavy on both Libra and Scorpio – Scorpio is also how I communicate. I am a digger, curiosity and a hope to understand, are both at the wheel. Which is why I have to be careful not to judge what I learn about others, because Libra is – to her essence – obsessed with Justice (capital J not accidental).

Because of that natural digging, I decided to also go through the National Archives of Maha since January. May 18 was a crucial astro date and I needed to understand the five months prior, so that I might be clear in the seeds I planted around this date. I am still planting, quietly and carefully. The abundance result rests with Allah.

I journal, as document. I have about 50 journals, to date (one of my greatest regrets is that in a moment of sadness, I shredded and burned about a dozen journals in Uni). I write down every. Single. Thing.

Every observation, every hesitation, every green flag. Every gut feeling and every single suspicion as well as heart-lifting moment and softness. Like I mentioned earlier, this year has been challenging, and I’ve never ever re-read a journal while in the year of it still. But I wanted to place my last months of reality against the Scorpio Moon energy (below), and oh. Shit. I am Scorpio through and through and through and through and then some.

Every intuition was right. Every hesitation was well placed. Every time my body stopped taking in oxygen, it was correct. Like I wrote before – there are dates seared into my memory: one in January. One in February. Two in March. AlhamduliLaah nothing since. Four dates which sharpened my vision. Four dates which stopped my breathing. I literally forgot to breathe because my body was shutting down due to what was before me.

One day, I might tell you about each day. Maybe.

Worst part is, I knew they were coming. I couldn’t avoid them. Nothing fit; I was standing at the epicentre of a jigsaw missing pieces; the four dates unearthed them. I have had to grapple since; strip them of meaning, and instead let them stand on their own as facts without my shading in their outsides with meaning. This is not easy.

You’ll read below, the following – a Scorpio Moon has an ability to just know things. Intuition is kneaded into us, even when we try to turn a blind eye, we cannot. It will rear its head whether we like it or not – example: I cannot forget things linked to an emotional response. Instead, the memories go dormant. Then, a new piece of information is put before me by the Universe, and a few days later, I’ll be walking down the street, sleeping, eating, and the memory will surface like a bucket of ice poured over my head. The memory connects itself to other dots because the new information has created a bridge.

I. Hate. It.

For those who have lived here long enough, you know that my beloveds call this my Witchy Senses. Again: I hate it, even though it is only ever in the interest of safeguarding me. This has always been the case, but never more than right now, as it’s the journey of my Libra Sun so I can’t avoid it – we have even more intuition than normal. (Libra has a natural high sense of intuition, just not as much as the Scorpio.) Everything is transforming as we are breaking cycles. Everything usual is heightened, and will remain as much for some time. The combination is intensifying everything, and I am both exhausted and fascinated by it.

More peace-making is that having the new awareness I have now has allowed me to jot down maybe 20 answers to questions / concerns / confusions / murkiness I’d come up against these last six months. This is an exercise I have performed regularly since May; every week, I jot down the questions to which I request answers. My questions are diminishing, both because my care is diminishing and also because the answers are being brought in by the Universe without my having to seek them out (like a cat dragging in a dead mouse as a gift, frankly).

The questions are things which I want off of my skin, outside of my biology, ripped from my organs to float into the Universe; the answers are lessons as new skin. Answers which will help me find more softness for others. Inshallah.

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Every day, I work hard to remind myself that I must center everything in love, if I am to receive it from Him. Again, it is not easy, because I am very aware of my Shadow Self and embrace her without judgement (though certainly always under control or there are days I would burn people to ash). She, a topic for another day.

All of this? It is for me, not to me. I am eternally grateful for every challenge and lesson which Allah has provided. I am exactly where I am meant to be, and where I need to be.

As for the Scorpio Moon, here it is and you let me know if this isn’t me –

(From one of the only sites I trust, and also where you may calculate your own Moon if you’ve not yet done so.)

Moon in Scorpio

While others may find security and comfort in material things, Moon in Scorpio people seek out emotional intensity. No matter what, there is something very intense about Lunar Scorpios. They are diggers when it comes to the world of emotion–they can see beyond facades and cut right to the core of a person. This ability to “see” what isn’t obvious to the rest of the world can be intimidating to others or wildly attractive, depending on the audience.

Their deep-seated need for transformation and rebirth can manifest itself in the lives of Lunar Scorpios in different ways. Most have powerful, emotionally intense lives. Some feel like it is beyond their control–these natives seem to attract emotional upheaval, and their lives appear to consist of plenty of dramatic ups and downs. However, when accepted as an emotional need, rebirth and change doesn’t need to be so dramatic and overwhelming.

In some way or the other, Moon in Scorpio natives seek out intense experiences. If their lives are regular in any way, there can be an unconscious need to test their own strength and stir up emotional excitement. Self-awareness and acceptance is probably the best way to handle this deep need for emotional drama.

Doing things halfway or having meaningless relationships simply doesn’t fulfill them. Lunar Scorpios want all or nothing.

Moon in Scorpio people often have a strong fear of betrayal. They seek out commitment, and feel the need for a partner to give up something for them. Some will put the people they love through a series of tests, and these are not always conscious. Their apparent suspicion can be trying for the people who love them. However, once committed, Moon in Scorpio people can be the most loyal and protective partners around.

Even the shy ones have enormous presence. Their lives are emotion-driven, yet many Moon in Scorpio natives spend a lot of time controlling and mastering their emotions. Their intuition is enormous, although it is sometimes self-serving.

Moon in Scorpio people radiate strength. Even in the absence of experience, they seem to “just know” things. It would be difficult to shock or scare away Lunar Scorpios in the face of emotional honesty and power. Some people instinctively want to lean on them, and other less brave folk run a little scared.

Lunar Scorpios have exceptional “radar” that allows them to size up a situation–and a person–quickly and expertly. This ability to understand human motivation and nature can be too close for comfort for some, and enormously comforting for others.

Many Lunar Scorpios are intelligent and astute. Those that use their enormous powers for intimacy and honesty are the happiest, and they make the most interesting and rewarding friends and lovers.”

I’m having a déjà-vu, but not sure where I’ve experienced this before…

**Chani is one of two I check daily; the other is Moon Omens. (Writing that out and I realized it’s Moon Omens not Sun Omens. How have I missed this for all of these years?!)

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