The Soul-Work

Desert-home and men in kohl, both are my birthright. For those who don’t know, it is sunnah for Muslim men to use kohl, and let me tell you, friends, it’s one of the most beautiful things you will see. Allah loves beauty.

I have spent my day writing. Pages and pages, none for publication. I even wrote a letter and tucked it into my diary, never to be shared. But it was balm which I needed, and because we are all connected, it will reach the energy of they for whom it is intended without my ever having to pull it from my turquoise book. They already know what’s in the letter.

The lead up to, and solar eclipse itself brought with them changes as warned, and as expected, for the cardinal signs of which I am one. The lessons have quieted now, though for others they remain ongoing. My changes were not subtle, but seismic. These are lessons that I have written up and placed on a paper in my office, in my home, in my wallet, and on my phone.

Muslims move with the moon and the sun. We pray accordingly, and Sufis especially, look to all of the hidden. I will not fu(k around when Allah shifts such things and sends lessons at the same time. No way, Jose; I like His guidance just fine. None provided by a wo/man can compare, thank you.


My lessons were clear: Pause. Breathe. Sit back, and consider. Stay quiet. Cool your anger. Soften soften soften. Be a safe space. ‘Usutri. Trust Allah. Leave it with Him. With some bits and bobs in between, not anyone’s business but between me and Him.

Some of these I already live and breathe daily, some not even close (especially not when I am made to feel unsafe). The latter, they have served me until quite literally – and as previously mentioned – pre-retrograde shadow. The precision is terrifying.

No matter. My focus has shifted this past year. My focus has been to make things softer for everyone I care about, even the ones I want to sometimes smash in their dumb. I believe in the essential goodness of all (caveat 1, even if I forget this for a day or two, this is my natural resting place, and caveat 2, but  for genocid@l maniacs and r@pists); I believe people can, should they choose it, change. I believe people wish to do better and will do better if offered the safety of unconditional acceptance, without shame.

Intention. Action. Belief.

I am trying to say to people: I see all of you, and believe you are beautiful still. I see all of you, and accept it without condition. I see all of you, and I still believe you are worthy. Even if you do not. This friendship will always be here, when and if you’re ever ready for it.

The lessons. Man, they were crystal clear. My body was upended by how they came in, because precision is with Him alone.

Again – Intention. Action. Belief.

I believe in these changes, and understand they are in my interest, and so I intend to follow the guidance. Inevitably, because some of these are new to how I move through this world, I’ll drop the ball as I am pivoting, but I’m a quick study and I pivot faster than most. More important though, is that I believe that these are improvements which I now need in my world.

Not only are these in the interest of myself, but equally they are in the interest of those I love, and those I simply like and respect, and even those about whom I am neutral.

We manifest for situations, not for things. Meaning, for softness, not a pillow. For a heart at peace, not money. For care and tenderness, not a specific person.

Because we might wish for a thing in which there is no good for us, and Allah knows best.

I am manifesting that I am exceedingly a place of rest for others. That I work in service of my soul, not my ego, ya Allah. My heart is light. May yours be equally so.

PS Send me your lessons learned, cardinal signs. x


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