Question, my Question

Gold Star goes to the person who Googled: "Scat Fetish Islam" and landed here instead.

Aside from always being intrigued by the use of capitals when such individuals search the engines, I think the answer to your question can be found in Ayah 13, Surah 8, when Allah said "Are you kidding me? Uhm, no."

I think you should meet and befriend the individual who made this query. You'd likely make great friends.

Qs used to find me: Gold Star

"is wanking acceptable during Ramadan?"

ok.
1) Love that you were smart enough to capitalize the 'R' in 'Ramadan'.
2) Understand this may not be a question you wish to pose to your local Sheikh, so Googling is an excellent idea, but...
3) Do you really think that any learned Muslim source worth trusting is going to actually use the word 'wanking' when discussing this subject matter?

Really?
Really?
Really?

(& seriously, dude: Just chill out. It's one fkn month (not to mention that its only been five days). CHILL.)

Comments closed.

Questions, please

"female is put off her clothes one by one"
Why? What'd they do that was so bad?

"i'm a libra girl and people are attracted to me"
ME TOO! ME TOO!!!!!! Cool.

"compartibility of librans by linda"
Although we have many parts, us libras, I don't know if anyone's ever attempted to compartmentalize any of them...let alone a woman named Linda.

"islam dream pulling my duvet"
Simple: Your dream's a Terrorist.

"sex with a different man every night"
What is wrong with you? (And how in the f*ckity f*ck does that query bring you to my interWeb home?)

"one female cancuck"
No one's ever called me that before.
I cancuck
You cancuck
They cancuck
We cancucked
CANCUCK!

Q after Q

"how to tell if you've had a boy or a girl"
If it has a peen, it's a boy.
If it doesn't, it's a girl.
If it looks dumb, it's definitely yours.

"fuck in arabic"
We usually call it: The Terrorist Jab.

"Gerard Butler dates black women?!!"
GO MCCAIN!

"fell backwards knee was bent and sat on leg"
For $800, What is a poorly performed yoga move?

"angelina jolie crotch dropper"
That would be Bradley Pitt.

"female ass and legs"
No head, please.

"what is a canuck"
It's a duck.

"kinky things to do in london"
...as opposed to the kinky things one does...in other parts of the world, of course.

"recurring dreams of driving from back seat"
You must learn to cede control, immediately.

"can i the lyrics to the child of glass frere jacques songs"
You can to do it any which way to whom it may be possible just ask the moron trying to figure out if he had the boy or of the girl baby above.

Searching the engine

"you love your girlfriend but she when you do be his friend"
your grammar be when it is with the illin' really bad amigo.

"pantaloons pattern for petite ladies"
NO.

"what does a man mean when he calls you sweetie"
It means he's in love with you and wants to marry you. Please feel free to start shopping for a wedding dress.

"groundhog female color"
EVIL.

"onion under armbit"
Hello, Arab.

"how to be the alpha male like tyler durden"
Sweetheart. If you need to ask that question, please understand that you'll never be able to fulfill the answer.

"are libra women true whores?"
No. We're 'whore' of the False variety. (& p.s. WTF?)

"do guys like to touch hair"
Yes. But only that of the "libra women true whore" sort.

"what does a typical libra female look like"
Look for the female with the two large scales on either side of her body.

"trumping pigs"
Really? Where? I'd like to see them, too, please.

"donkey flipbook"
ha ha ha. That's just funny and I'm going to use that in a sentence soon. (At work in a meeting with the senior executives.)

There is a real and complete blog entry coming soon! Thanks for your patience and all of your wonderful and kind and hilarious emails.

Search search search

"random female ass"
I guess s/he was bored of the specific one they've carried around for the last x amount of years.

"secrets about boys every girl should know"
There's only one secret that matters, and it is: Boys Lie (whereas Men do not).

"he she her Ibiza met attracted went ate tried liked love came over"
you him her internet bad repellant fool go away.

"HAS A NYONE WASHED THE IKEA SLIP COVERS"
I'LL TELL Y OU BUT ONLY IF YOU STOP YELLING.

"who is gerald butler's girlfriend"
Who is geraLd butler?

"he touches my hair"
Uhm. I guess this is alright so long as (a) his hands are clean; (2) he is a friend; and, (3) he pats and does not tug or pull or twist or rip or drag.

"extra large woman absolutely no porn"
You are weird. (Absolutely no question about it.)

(I am battling with a groundhog; real actual entry coming very very soon...)

Queries

Searching for: "has gerry butler asked someone to marry her"
FYI: Gerry's a boy with boy parts.

Searching for: "pictures of females really pulling mens b*lls"
Please note the "really", because we don't want pictures of female slackers to turn up - we want women who think they're playing with an elastic band and their respective little b*tches.

Searching for: "female in a bikini top sitting on a bomb"
Is bomb code for something?

Searching for: "how to stop yoga making you fart"
You don't. That's why you're to keep your abdomen muscles tight at all times; having nothing at all to do with 'core strength', I'm now convinced it's to lessen the gas emissions in yoga classes the world over.

The Most Interesting Way to Find Me

This is a new category that discusses the most interesting search engine results leading people to this interWeb home.

This first I am inclined to believe is a reflection of someone's really strange fetish (is there any other sort?), because they searched for: female one small bald spot on top of head.

Note the specificity of the number ('one'), the size ('small') and the location ('top'). Because we're not here searching for a completely bald female, or one who has several bald spots, or one large bald spot on the back of her head, or even a multitude of baby bald spots on the sides of her head. Just give this individual one small bald spot on top, please. Interesting and an excellent use of search engine technology. (The more specific, the better.)

Dumb-Ass Mention: To the woman querying her full name + 'threesome'. JUST STOP.

Honorary Mention: To the individual who found me by way of Googling should I wear a Speedo to Bikram, then the following two things: First. Thank you. Thank you for not intrinsically thinking that it's ok, nay necessary, to wear a Speedo anywhere but on a French beach to Bikram. I applaud that you've taken the initiative to actually ponder this because your mere pondering makes me believe that when you thought 'Bikram + Speedo', something inside of your head protested and that makes you a very good person. And second, the answer to your question is: No, my friend. No, you should not wear a Speedo to Bikram.