Because every once in a while it’s necessary for me to reinforce publicly the fact that I am a very big nerd.
When I was six years old, I choreographed for myself and all by myself a rockstar routine to Lionel Richie’s All Night Long. My parents’ friends used to come over and I would, in Top Nerd Fashion, inflict the complete a-little-under-three-minute-routine on them
There was one part where I would slink clinging to the wall, smiling at My Audience. Another part where I would do jumping jacks. And still a third part where I would (drum roll, please) lay on the floor and move – or so I thought – to the beat. I used to also sing along at the top of my lungs, pretending to carry a microphone – which, inevitably, was a most challenging part of my routine while I was laying on the ground.
My Audience would clap and Hurrah! once I was done and my mother would scoot me up to bed. There I would lie smiling in maniacal manner imagining the many conversation topics my routine had graciously given the members of My Audience, such as my natural instinct to get down.
I wish somebody had videotaped this…quite likely my parents were too embarrassed and worried about my mental health were I to bear witness to such incredibly humiliating behaviour as an adult.
Are you blushing on my behalf? You should be.