You are all quite familiar with Janey. This is her wearing the scarf I knit and sent her way two weeks back – it is ‘The Johnny Scarf’, J not standing for Janey. Long, yes? It took weeks to complete and is meant to provide warmth when I can’t reach over and hug her. It is me as a knit stitch.
She is among my best of friends and she lives in Toronto until 16h hours today, at which point she boards a plane to Halifax.
I miss her already, quite possibly more than words can express.
Janey and I communicate daily, all day long, never running out of things to say (thank you berry messenger). There is a solid energy of support as foundation for each other’s actions – a foundation that both she and I would tell you can withstand absolutely anything.
It was in university that we met through my old friend Scott, a bartender at Oliver’s Pub on campus. Janey was underage and so was the (greatest and sunniest) front door girl who took your money and stamped her approval of entry.
We met once, in passing, through Scott.
A few days later, I was standing in front of the Oliver’s entrance staring at a phone wondering to myself whether I should call a particular number or not. I needed sisterly support, understanding and hand holding.
I also needed an extra individual to remember the telephone number I was supposed to dial; I was so nervous that numbers kept falling out of my head against my will. None of my girlfriends were in the neighbourhood at that particular moment; I looked over my right shoulder, made eye-contact with Baby Jane, walked over and asked for her help and support, which she gave me without a moment’s hesitation.
She stood next to me at the phone, repeating the last four digits as though they were a mantra. I dialed, the phone rang, she squealed, I responded to the ‘hello’, she smiled a little more and motioned to me that she would be over there.
Coming off the telephone, I went over and we had our first date. We had a drink at Oliver’s and it felt as though we had known one another for our entire lives. There was no hesitation in conversation, no holding back of details or information. It was, in so far as the way friendships are created and develop, most definitely magical.
The rest, as they say, would become history.
At different times in our lives, and depending on the situation and environment at hand, different people catch us and help us stand up again. Sometimes, they don’t catch us but rather sit next to us while we refuse to stand, preferring to instead stay close to the ground a little longer for fear of another fall. Baby Jane has been doing this for me for the last little while – I for her, also.
Everything I have learned from the most gracious and loving BB, I have been able to apply to Janey this past near year. I love them both for the opportunity to grow and learn, understanding the possibility of honest and true and good friendships riddled with sentences such as
“I don’t agree with what you’re doing, but I will support you through this idiotic undertaking because I love you”
“The way you treated that person? That wasn’t right. That wasn’t right and your mother taught you differently and you know it. You need to make amends immediately.”
“I need you to set your ego aside, my love, and really take a step back before I tell you what I’m about to tell you”
without there being a break in friendship or fear of hurt.
It is amazing. She is amazing. And so, on her new adventure to Halifax, I would love for each of you to please send Baby Jane your best energy and your greatest amount of warmth. Keep her in your hearts and minds as the next little while will be a challenge (which she will overcome, but a challenge nonetheless). Thank you.
Janey – I kove yoy very much.