Dear London Town

Note: The below was written on March 20th, while I was in London. My writing will slow for the next while as I will be up in the air (sadly, without Clooney) next week for three weeks, also for work. I will be in Syria, the UAE & Lebanon. Be safe & keep emailing…xoxoxo


My Beloved London Town,

If you recall, you raised me during my formative years, providing a warm hug every summer spent with you. I have since returned regularly, though stopped my visits three years back. I fail to find the proper words to explain the ‘why’ of my vanishing.

I have missed you beyond measure, and I can tell you’re not at all upset about my absence because your warmth swallowed me whole the very moment I touched a toe to your streets.

This time, I am here for work and so staying by Trafalgar Square. I plunked my suitcase down and ran to see your streets after a harrowing travel and taxi ride because your tribe does not fix one street in a particular direction, but rather all streets in that particular direction. No matter.

Without hesitation, I ran to Pret to have my favourite nicoise salad, which is from where I write this letter, as I face Trafalger, and as I wave at the several folks who have already waved at me, perched at the window like an awkwardly large cat.

My next stop will be to the Caffe Nero across the street, for her cappuccino and world’s greatest biscotti.

Dear Costa Coffee Shop,

Really sorry that, in my excitement to find Nero, I confused you for them. Also, deepest apologies for then slightly harassing your staff, demanding an explanation as to when and why you had stopped carrying the proper brand of biscotti.

Thanks for helping me out of your shop. I really like it when people hold my elbow, because it shows me they care enough to make certain I don’t trip.

xox m

On my way here, by the way, I stopped into the Playhouse Theatre where I will later tonight be seeing the musical ‘Dreamboats & Petticoats’. Do you want to know how lovely your tribe are? I was looking to purchase a simple – and your least costly ticket – only, the gentleman at the front told me he liked my smile and so was instead going to charge me the same, but for a seat in your double-the-cost-and-bestest section. See, London Town? This is why I love you and have missed you and am beyond the moon, stars and skies to be in your arms once more.

Sadly, however…

Having written that, I must also indicate that your body scanners scare me and the mere thought of them make me feel extremely vulnerable and violated. For this reason, and this reason alone, you will not see me back until I am afforded a choice to be stripped and patted down by a female officer, rather than subjecting my sense of self and body to your technology which literally leaves one stripped naked and photographed. Most especially now that we know your claims at Heathrow are really nothing more than fibs told by lying liars who lie.

Dear Members of British Parliament Who Say That These Scanners Are Not Invasive Technology,

Two simple requests: (1) next session in Parliament, please attend in the nude. We promise to destroy the images immediately; and, (2) before I walk through one of these, I expect every single one of your family members to do the same…females first.

In fairness,

Still, however, with love, hugs and kisses, I love you (but will spend my vacation time and money elsewhere),
All of my London Town pictures may be found here.
The ‘Maha’s 35 Things To Do In London‘ has been updated.