Maha Monday Column + Video: On Trusting Others

At Chai Latte Diaries, I am asked how to re-engage trust after our trust has had its bottom handed to it, by no fault of our own (or, as always, by minimal fault of our own): Trust between individuals can only come with time, and time is another way of saying space and room. The space and the room in which an individual can exhibit their trustworthy qualities – a space without suspicion or challenge, without harassment to prove themselves. Rather, a space where they are free to roam (as are you) and where their behaviors and actions, one after the other, paint a picture of who they are. Trustworthy or not. Essentially, a balanced, neutral stage on which they act, and I / we act, and on which we both receive the actions of the other.

a href=”″>[…] learn how to trust intelligently, because blindly chucking around trust like its rice at a wedding is flat-out stupid. Instead, you now have to learn how to trust slowly and in intelligent manner, rather than in blind and self-destructive ways. This doesn’t mean trusting in equal measure every single person you meet without a second thought. Rather, it means that you need to, from the above position of neutrality, take stock of four major characteristics which are indicative of someone’s trustworthiness: Competence. Reliability. Honesty. And making oneself vulnerable to another.

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