The Liking Of The Face

Third photo of my head in a row. And guess what? Tomorrow there will be a fourth, only with others because it’ll be Eid. Nothing is better than natural lighting, and this photo is entirely untouched. It makes me look far prettier than I in fact am. Is there a sunlight lighting situation that one can attach to their phone and take photos with it, rather than with a flash?

This is a 44 year old face. I really dig it. Which, considering the beauty standard against which women are shoved every second they are alive, it feels like a small act of revolution. Especially after California where all I saw was only men with women half their age.

My face, I like it a lot better than my 24 and 34 year old faces. See the eleven between my eyebrows? That’s  from being confused often. Sometimes I pull the eleven apart to see what I would look like without it. I look like a woman who doesn’t ask enough questions.

I wish I had more smile lines around my eyes; they are such a draw for me on men. But the point is, again, I like my face.

I may wake up one day and decide that I no longer like my face, but that’s not today.

Today, a day when I like my face, after the kind of week my nervous system has endured? It’s a day you’re getting a proper, unfiltered, without shame: selfie.

Notice something that has been missing for a while? My eyes are finally crystal clear again.

Today, I am grateful for:
1. Your faces. Each and every one.
2. Watching the sun come up over Toronto this morning. What a beauty.
3. My new lavender glasses. They help my eyeballs a lot.

Ottawa | Day 253 | August 10, 2019

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