On Regret

Short sundresses, broken straps, shit-kickers, unbuttoned shirts over moistened-with-humidity skin, and swamp lands. This is the imagery with which I am left every evening when I listen to the platinum standard of old-world blues. Get on it, and start listening on-line between 8-10 nightly. Trust.

Now on to what I really came to say…

“I live a life of no regret.”

“There is no place for the word regret in my vocabulary.”

“I don’t have time for regret.”

Quite certain that at some point in my twenties, I held a world view which reflected the above sentiments.

I see it around me on a very regular basis; this sense that people run’round actively not regretting actions of the past and with a regret free preemptive eye on the future.

Thing with this is: If this is your mantra, then you have de-facto given yourself carte blanche to act as an asshole and walk away from it without second thought or lessons learned or entertaining that you may have behaved in a way unbecoming a human person among other human creatures.

Unless you are a sociopath, I’m not sure anyone should aim for this behavior. Tell me if you think I am foolish for thinking this, so that I might block your IP addy. Kidding!

Prime example — I wronged someone around a decade ago. I was rude and mean and behaved in a way which I regretted. I was younger, too proud to admit fault, and so was mean rather than open to the possibility of saying: I’m sorry. Every once in a while, I think about this situation with deep regret. Around a month back, I found this woman on Facebook and sent her an apology for my shitty behaviour because it really is never too late to say you were a complete nob.

Listen, I’m not saying that we should revisit every single action and choice made, and quicksand into eternal regret; maybe just our Top 3. I am also not saying that our vision should be anywhere but in the present. I am saying that regret in healthy doses is a necessary and adult response. Otherwise, it’s just another perverted way of eschewing responsibility and staying in a position of paralysis.

If approached sincerely and with an open mind to change for the better, it is often within the confines of regret that we learn who we would like to be, how we would like to behave, and subsequently change patterns to improvement.

Equally as important as wielding regret to our own self-awareness and improvement, is regretting the absence of things. More often that not, this comes up within the context of relationships and / or work related stuffs, with people regretting that they never made a move, never said anything, never let the other person know they cared for them, never took the job, never made a play.

Here, moving forward usually comes when we recognize and usually regret that we did not act and instead sat like a lump on a log and watched someone else make a grab for and win what we covet.

Also…some mistakes are too much fun to only commit once. Pay attention to those, too.