Dear Taylor Kitsch Wearing Saxx Underwear


It’s been a while, and that’s because I was away in Costa Rica where no one wears plaid, and so I really missed you.

It’s kind of official now, by the way, that I have completely blurred the lines between reality and fiction and in my very small head you, Tim Riggins, is actually Taylor Kitsch. (Don’t worry about the small head thing though, because other parts of me totally make up for this.)

Mmmm, I received a very funny email while I was gone (in Costa Rica, did I mention? In the jungle. By the water. Maybe you’d like to join me next time? Rain boots & bikinis…) – it was a transcript of an interview you had done, in which you (1) LOL’d when someone asked if you read the Twilight series; and, (2) indicated that you cover your fun parts in Saxx Apparel, whose tag line is: “Show your balls some love”. Genius, beyond measure.

And speaking of measure…

I’m kidding…but you know, what with all this talk about your panties, it’s sort of inevitable that my small head would be filled with awkward and completely inappropriate thoughts.

Beyond your panty gig, though, is your clear disdain for Twilight. A disdain I share and so yet another reason we ought to be together; a disdain so deep that when I read your response, I started bouncing in my seat and clapping very quickly. Also, I may have been screaming in my small head, with great excitement. (Another reason we belong together? We both like babies – and fyi, for you to keep in mind: not only do I want to birth several, I would also like to rent and lease as many others as possible, please & thank you.)

Finally, last night I got caught up on FNL season 4, episode 8. When you kissed the girl, I couldn’t help but think how I would really like to have your perfect mouth on my very small head.

Hugs and squeezes and giggles,

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