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Category Archives: Mindful Relationships

Anatomy of a Healthy Break-Up

Preamble: I know it’s hard. We all know it can be crushing to recover from any ending, but we have all recovered. Each of us. We have all moved onto…

How to avoid the (most common) early dating mistakes

Three foundational notes: (1) Yes. We get that sometimes we all falter and we lose perspective and we are hurt and confused by a wo/man’s behaviour because we like them…

Crushes as Pillows

A couple of months ago a dear girlfriend was talking to me about a weird crush that she had on a man – weird because she knew it would never…

A letter from my heart to your ears

Dear Fella: Everything I thought I loved about you has turned out to be completely and totally false. 2012 & 2013 were interesting years for my romantic life, teaching me…

This is DATING!

The last time I was officially part of a club was grade 8 Dungeons and Dragons club. I was the only girl; none of us were dating anyone, my crush…

Love Stories

For those of you who have lived here long enough, you know that I believe in the Friday Night Lights representation of Eric & Tami Taylor’s marriage. I believe it…

On potential and the ideal man

I believe in the possibility and potential of love, experienced through the unspoken pull of bodies toward one another, shock-waves physically lit up making us incapable of maintaining eye-contact for…

Laughter is the world’s top WMD

This baby has either just spied a nipp!e (this same expression he will carry with him for the rest of his life), or is laughing. Either way, he is edible…

Moving to be with your partner; how far would you go, ho?

A former colleague recently spent some time in my office telling me about her new piece. I shall call this friend ‘Green’. Piece resides in Texas, and so Green’s first…

Love on Venice Blvd

After an incredible couple of hours of faith and music filled conversation over lunch at Urth Caffe, I had to make my way home and so chose to walk along…

Building and Maintaining Trust

Trust between partners — aside from top-notch sexuals, humour, and respect — is a fundamental pillar in any solid relationship. It is among the few things which, once broken, renders…

Don’t write checks your body can’t / won’t / never ever had the intention of cashing

Two caveats: I very much believe in ‘He’s just not that into you’. For all intents and purposes, almost all of the men of topic below, they have displayed extreme…

Maha Mondays: More iron than velvet, this week

For Chai Latte Diaries and Elle Beaver advice columns – please be advised that I have neither admin nor edit rights to either their FB pages or their websites. Additionally,…

Maha Mondays: Your Piece’s Bully of a BFF & The Fella Who Wants to Commit (but is stuck in a tree of his own making)

Elle Beaver’s reader is challenged by a dismissive limp-dick boyfriend and his BFF: “…those whose uplifting is sourced from their active debasement of others are the most miserable and insecure…

‘Maha Mondays’: Wedding jitters & friendly texting?

The two new advice columns are live (and every Monday, I will link to them from here). Elle Beaver: I’m getting married and I’m all jittery. What’s up with me?…

Know-It-All: How can I be happier, considering my history?

Dear Maha, I am not clinically depressed or unhappy, its just that I feel like my “normal” happy baseline is lower than others. I don’t feel joy or excitement the…

December’s (not so gentle) lessons

December has proven an interesting and challenging month. From it, I am blessed to carry into the new year three life lessons. First. Trust only my gut instinct. Nothing, absolutely…

Allah does not discriminate (a.k.a. “On Bein’ Single”)

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/11/19. ——————– “Since masculinity is defined through separation while femininity is defined through attachment, male gender identity is threatened by intimacy while female gender identity…

Taylor Kitsch may sink my battleship, but…

Editorial Note: Originally published on 2012/02/17. ——————– Colin receives all of the accolades. Last week, I was on course for work. When introducing ourselves, we were asked to name our…

The New Friend

I will write this in ten years from the date of its publication (14 October 2023). I’ve post-dated it because I wish to protect it. None can read this but…

Egos & Immediate Self-Gratification

Like. Like. Like. How many Likes? Let me quantify myself by your Likes. My ego hates Freud Over coffee with Trouble (welcome home, Mr G), my friend and I conversed…

Gentlewoman’s Rules (aka How Not to be a Cad – Female Styles)

.2.   Trust him. Unless he’s treated you in untrustworthy fashion, trust him. .3.   If you don’t like something, then tell him. Don’t expect him to figure it out on his…

31 Ways on How Not To Be A Cad (for David F.)

.1. Respect her. (Respect yourself.) .2. Don’t just text her. Start calling instead. Conversation is a lost art form; revive it. (Text only when others are around and you want…

Know-It-All: Liar, liar, pants on fire

“Dear Maha, Thank you for your amazing site. My friends have been reading you for years and then we talk about your articles afterwards. I was in a really shitty…

Lesson #10: Balance is not just for Libras

“Once I have seen your face I shut my eyes to others.” – Rumi David last year told me that I, unlike any other individual she knows, has a sense…

Lesson #6 – #9: Don’t be a weirdo sovereign, and don’t confuse your bona fide with a therapist

Preamble: A has been in a healthy relationship for years. A loving, kind, generous, sexy, healthy relationship with an amazing man; if I am going to take advice from anyone,…

Lessons #2 – #5: To lower our standards or not to lower our standards?

            A little under two years ago, Aalya sent me an email wherein she wrote ‘[…] you are a shiny object put on this earth…

Lesson #1: Don’t stand next to their pile of sh/t unless…

Since a little girl, I have never been capable of looking at a situation and not trying to undo it, in order that I might understand its machinations. Unlike those…

Sea(s) of change

Purging, cleaning house and new beginnings. Ramadan ends in less than 24 hours and it has brought with it – literally – a sea of change. I’m looking forward to a little bit of an ebb now

World views, self-cutting and prayers answered

I asked, “Why have I received only this?” A voice replied, “‘Only this’ will lead you to That. -Rumi Once upon a mid June’s eve, I received an email which…

“I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” (Jimmy Dean)

No entry and no comments. This is simply a moment which I need to capture here. I will be writing again soon – I am so very very sorry that…

That time I found someone repulsive

“Human emotions are most directly influenced by smells that act directly into the brain. Your scent or pheromone signature determines, to a very great extent, how persons respond to you…

The Calm Within: Dewey Bozella

If you are unfamiliar with this beautiful man’s story, please take the necessary 11 minutes to watch this and learn from it. Love and light to you each and all…

Know-It-All: “She ripped my heart out of my nose”

Hey Prolific Immigrant, My best friend told me to write this because she reads you. She’s sitting next to me and wants me to start this by saying “she ripped…

Secret Loves

I remember being in University and keeping my then boyfriend a Secret Love. I now know that I was doing it because I wasn’t interested in him in the way…