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MahaMondayVideo: Friendship after dating?

The Maha Monday series is now officially a video & column response, with this the first one. It’s grainy and has terrible lighting and I may have made up the…

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Waving goodbye, exiting stage left

A part of tomorrow’s MahaMonday column touches lightly on the subject of when we should cut a platonic or romantic relationship out of our lives. With my own Shut-Off Valve…

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On Healthy Silence

Two things: (1) I am a Super Communicator and Clarifier. I go above and beyond the call of normal communication to make certain that the person before me is always…

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MahaMonday: Your spouse tells you they don’t love you

At Chai Latte Diaries, he tells us that she’s told him she doesn’t love him anymore. Now what? As to what can be done now, in your present situation: the…

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MahaMonday: Acting on rumors

There are a few rumors running around this budding emotional entanglement. What then? Here, I advise you to keep things simple and clean. I very strongly encourage you to ask…

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MahaMonday: 1st date awkwardness

At Chai Latte Diaries, she’s asking how to get past first date awkwardness: The most important response to your Qs however, is that you are not a fisherwoman and men…

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MahaMonday: On ‘fading’ (aka ‘ghosting’)

Dear Humans: STOP THIS PRACTICE. It’s gross. At Chai Latte Diaries, a dude whose meh about commitment has instead chosen to ghost on women. Repeatedly. He’s now looking to change…

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MahaMonday: Online dating & safety

At Chai Latte Diaries, a mansplainer tries to mansplain a woman’s safety away; I get into the perameters of safe online (and offline) dating scenarios: Always, the first three rules…

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MahaMonday: Islamophobia Is The New Black

At Chai Latte Diaries, I am asked how to deal with the recent hate-driven executions of Yusor Mohammad, Deah Shaddy Barakat, Razan Mohammad Abu-Salha, and Mustafa Mattan: The answers to…

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MahaMonday: Mothers & daughters

Because  mommas be crazy, this is a reminder of how we – their seeds – need to respond: I have been there. Often. I don’t know one daughter who has…

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The trauma of self-flushing toilets

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the epoch of stupidity, it was the epoch of my…

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MahaMonday: Match-making aunties & wedding season

At Chai Latte Diaries, I’m asked how to answer the world’s most boring and predictable answer (which is handed out to all biological and non-biological aunties at the annual Global…

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“Vulnerability and Trust” (What are the two reasons for which I want to punch myself in the face?)

Editorial Note: This was written and published in 2013, but is as relevant today as it has been every day since. It has also been updated quite a bit to…

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MahaMonday: Marriage & caring for elderly parents

A gentleman at Chai Latte Diaries asks me how to address the challenges of marriage while he cares for his elderly parents who live with him: From a Muslim angle,…

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MahaMonday: Love & abuse

(TRIGGER WARNING.) At Chai Latte Diaries, an incredible woman reaches out to ask about the end of her marriage to an abusive man, how to deal with her family who…

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MahaMonday: Writer’s block & contempt

He asked how to get rid of writer’s block. In answering, I told him that his bigger problem is his contempt for the success of others; also, that he, like…

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MahaMonday: One’s nose where it don’t belong

At Chai Latte Diaries, a fella wants to stick his nose where the sun don’t shine, where he has no business to stick his nose. ¿Por qué? Because he has…

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MahaMonday: Divorce & family

At Chai Latte Diaries, I was asked how one might handle extended family who is frumpy frumping about a female member’s divorce and her life-choices. I frown all over my…

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MahaMonday: Marriage Qs

At Chai Latte Diaries, a woman asks me what she should ask him, he who is engaging her for reasons of marriage. A simple Q, in response to which I…

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MahaMonday: Online monogamy

At Chai Latte Diaries, Bro A spends a couple of minutes having a conversation with a woman online on a dating site.

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MahaMonday: When they don’t love you anymore

At Chai Latte Diaries, a man’s wife tells him she does not love him anymore. As to what can be done now, in your present situation: the good news is…

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Guerrilla Giving: Don’t be a self-involved asshole

‘Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the one who is most righteous.’ (Quran 49:13) Each one of us defines “righteous” in a variety of…

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MahaMonday: Friendship’s End

At Chai Latte Diaries I’m asked about the heartbreak of broken friendship. I can also tell you that if you wish to be a healthy adult who does build and…

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MahaMonday: Regarding his silence

At Chai Latte Diaries, a currently sad (surely beautiful and amazing) little monkey has asked a man out and met with silence. What now?: …your way forward is clear –…

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#BlackLivesMatter

For the past while, I have been fixated on the deaths of Tamir Rice, Mike Brown and Eric Garner. Every moment I have a second to think past work or…

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MahaMonday: Waiting for Godot

Boy likes girl. Boy doesn’t make move. Girl moves on. Boy suddenly wants to rush girl. In a nutshell, at Chai Latte Diaries: “Cold hard truth is that I am…

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Potatoed immigrant children

I have suddenly fallen in love with green nature. Swear to God this must be because I am now living in a box in the sky. I was born in…

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MahaMonday: Dating & grammar

Editorial Note: Make sure you find the on-purpose mistake I made in my response.  A lovely reader at Chai Latte Diaries asks whether it’s alright to cut men out of…

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MahaMonday: Makin’ new friends

At Chai Latte Diaries, a woman in a new city is trying to make new friends. Only, many people are mean-girls: For you and the people you mention, simply understand…

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MahaMonday: Settling & Body Image

At Chai Latte Diaries, I respond to a woman worried about body image and settling for the wrong man: On settling – this too is a valid fear, which I…

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Crushes as Pillows

A couple of months ago a dear girlfriend was talking to me about a weird crush that she had on a man – weird because she knew it would never…

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When I Self-Glamour

Ask my best friends – I have an uncanny ability to lie to myself and believe every single word of it. It’s how I delude myself into believing that someone…

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On Jian Ghomeshi and Violence Against Women: Where Do We Go From Here?

For Elle Beaver, I wrote about what comes next – hopefully, if we do it right, the response to Jian Ghomeshi will help us become a safer society for the voices…

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Making a lover of ugly

On Monday past, I received some stressful news which came with a jpeg. In defense of my incredible friend who sent me the message, they thought I would find the…

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MahaMonday: A racist ex + prayers answered

At Elle Beaver, a wonderful woman was dumped because of her boyfriend’s racist father. You read that right…and it is in fact 2014. I yell about racism and then I…

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A letter from my heart to your ears

Dear Fella: Everything I thought I loved about you has turned out to be completely and totally false. 2012 & 2013 were interesting years for my romantic life, teaching me…

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MahaMonday: 2nd chances + 50 shades

This week, I am asked about the ‘ghosting’ phenomenon; men we’re dating, who then vanish, only to resurface months later as though nothing happened: “[…]when a man vanishes without grace…

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A Near Perfect Time (would you?)

Rumi wrote: There’s joy in my heart: I have joined my lover tonight; Finally free from the pain of our parting tonight. As I dance with my lover I pray, oh…

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MahaMonday: Daddy Issues n Dates

At Chai Latte Diaries, a beautiful little thing asks me what to do about her absentee father: The love and support which your father should have given you was never…

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MahaMonday: Resenting him & his ex

At Chai Latte Diaries, I am asked how to manage a woman whose resentful of her new piece’s ex, but not for the reasons one might imagine: A suspicious heart is…